Let S Panic About Babies

Author: Alice Bradley
Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin
ISBN: 9781429991346
Size: 15.54 MB
Format: PDF, ePub
View: 75

BABIES. Maybe you're thinking of having one. There might even be one inside you right now, draining nutrients from your system via a tube growing from its midsection. Or maybe you've already got one around the house, somewhere, and you're responsible for its continued survival. You're saddled with a helpless being whom you've agreed to house and feed and love with all your heart for the rest of your life, more or less. Either way, you're confused, you're frightened, and 911 won't take your calls anymore. But don't despair! Let's Panic About Babies! is here to hold your hand and answer some important, age-old baby-related questions, including: - How can I be sure I'm pregnant? (Torso swells gradually until baby falls into underpants.) - Did I just pee myself? (Yes.) - What happens if I have sex during my pregnancy? (Your baby will be born with a full, lush beard.) - How can I tell if I've chosen the wrong pediatrician? (He/she can't pronounce "stethoscope.") - How do I make sure my baby loves me back? (Voodoo.) From the moment they're created until the day they steal our cars, our babies demand center stage in our lives. So join Alice and Eden as they tell you (and your lucky partner!) exactly what to think and feel and do, from morning sickness to baby's first steps. They know everything!

Dog Friendly Gardening

Author: Karen Bush
Publisher: Veloce Publishing Ltd
ISBN: 9781845844103
Size: 18.10 MB
Format: PDF
View: 16

Even if you're on a budget, with good planning and a little effort you can create an attractive outdoor environment that will actively enhance your relationship with your dog; a place where you can enjoy playing and relaxing together.

Let S Pretend This Never Happened

Author: Jenny Lawson
Publisher: Penguin
ISBN: 9781101573082
Size: 17.92 MB
Format: PDF, ePub, Mobi
View: 31

From the New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy... When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Includes a new chapter! Readers Guide Inside From the Trade Paperback edition.

How Not To Kill Your Baby

Author: Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
ISBN: 9781449410391
Size: 12.61 MB
Format: PDF
View: 64

"This laugh-out-loud hilarious book is mandatory reading for parents, and should be taught in schools as the "cautionary tale" portion of Sex Ed. Run don't walk to buy it, and if you're a baby with lethal parents, crawl don't roll." --Rob Kutner (writer, The Daily Show, Conan, The Future According To Me) "Unlike babies themselves, copies of Jacob Sager Weinstein's book can be bought and sold on the open market. Buy two and bring joy and laughter to the lives of a copy-less couple." --Jose Arroyo (writer, Conan) "The "s-a-g-e" in Jacob's middle moniker indicates exactly that. He is a whimsically wise and hysterically funny fellow whom any child (or book buying adult) would be wise to listen to." --Dennis Miller "If you don't buy this book and then your baby dies, how are you going to feel? Pretty bad, I imagine." --Larry Doyle (writer, I Love You Beth Cooper; Go, Mutants!; The Simpsons) Have you ever read a parenting book that left you feeling inadequate and/or terrified? In other words, have you ever read any parenting book whatsoever? If so, you need How Not To Kill Your Baby, a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual you've ever cringed over. Just consider the following advice: * "As you know if you have ever seen someone give birth in a movie or television show, all newborns emerge with adorable round faces, pudgy limbs, and twinkling eyes. If, by contrast, the nurse hands you a tiny, squawling creature with the face of an old man and skin covered in goo, hand it back immediately. There has clearly been some sort of mixup with a nearby ward for senile midgets." * "It's essential that you keep careful track of your baby's every bodily function. That way, when she is president of the United States and a paranoid-minded conspiracy movement springs up denying her eligibility for the position, you will have documentary proof that she did, in fact, poop on U.S. soil at 8:23AM on February 23." * "When choosing a nursery school, make sure to visit first, and ask the teachers about their educational philosophies. Then ask about their criminal records. If they insist they have none, you may need to keep asking, perhaps while shining a bright light in their face. Also, take their fingerprints, then follow them home from a discreet distance and go through their trash. Oh, and don't forget to thank them for their dedication to helping the young!" * "It is easy to adjust your parenting techniques as your children grow: simply do and say the exact same things, but raise your voice by one decibel for every year of your child's age." How Not To Kill Your Baby is printed on child-safe, 100% piranha-free paper, and bound without the use of exploding staples. You'll get no such promise from What To Expect When You're Expecting. How Not To Kill Your Baby is the book for you... unless you're some kind of baby-hating creep who wants to parent all wrong.

Probability

Author: Robert P. Dobrow
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9781118589441
Size: 19.93 MB
Format: PDF, Mobi
View: 97

An introduction to probability at the undergraduate level Chance and randomness are encountered on a daily basis. Authored by a highly qualified professor in the field, Probability: With Applications and R delves into the theories and applications essential to obtaining a thorough understanding of probability. With real-life examples and thoughtful exercises from fields as diverse as biology, computer science, cryptology, ecology, public health, and sports, the book is accessible for a variety of readers. The book’s emphasis on simulation through the use of the popular R software language clarifies and illustrates key computational and theoretical results. Probability: With Applications and R helps readers develop problem-solving skills and delivers an appropriate mix of theory and application. The book includes: Chapters covering first principles, conditional probability, independent trials, random variables, discrete distributions, continuous probability, continuous distributions, conditional distribution, and limits An early introduction to random variables and Monte Carlo simulation and an emphasis on conditional probability, conditioning, and developing probabilistic intuition An R tutorial with example script files Many classic and historical problems of probability as well as nontraditional material, such as Benford’s law, power-law distributions, and Bayesian statistics A topics section with suitable material for projects and explorations, such as random walk on graphs, Markov chains, and Markov chain Monte Carlo Chapter-by-chapter summaries and hundreds of practical exercises Probability: With Applications and R is an ideal text for a beginning course in probability at the undergraduate level.

Green Building Illustrated

Author: Francis D. K. Ching
Publisher: John Wiley & Sons
ISBN: 9781118562376
Size: 17.85 MB
Format: PDF, Docs
View: 67

“Green Building Illustrated is a must-read for students and professionals in the building industry. The combination of incredibly expressive illustrations and accessible technical writing make concepts of green building on paper as intuitive as they would be if you toured a space with experts in sustainable building.” —Rick Fedrizzi, President, CEO, and Founding Chair of the U.S. Green Building Council “The authors of Green Building Illustrated deliver clear and intelligent text, augmented by straightforward but compelling illustrations describing green building basics. This comprehensive book covers everything from the definition of green building, to details of high performance design, to sensible applications of renewable energy. This is a book with appeal for all architects and designers, because it addresses general principles such as holistic and integrated design, along with practical realities like affordability and energy codes. Green Building Illustrated describes a pathway for reaching Architecture 2030’s carbon emission reduction targets for the built environment.”—Ed Mazria, founder of Architecture 2030 “…a neophyte will have a very good overview of all the factors involved in green building. I see some excellent pedagogy at work!” — Jim Gunshinan, Editor, Home Energy Magazine Francis D.K. Ching brings his signature graphic style to the topic of sustainable design In the tradition of the classic Building Construction Illustrated, Francis D.K. Ching and Ian M. Shapiro offer a graphical presentation to the theory, practices, and complexities of sustainable design using an approach that proceeds methodically. From the outside to the inside of a building, they cover all aspects of sustainability, providing a framework and detailed strategies to design buildings that are substantively green. The book begins with an explanation of why we need to build green, the theories behind it and current rating systems before moving on to a comprehensive discussion of vital topics. These topics include site selection, passive design using building shape, water conservation, ventilation and air quality, heating and cooling, minimum-impact materials, and much more. Explains the fundamental issues of sustainable design and construction in a beautifully illustrated format Illustrated by legendary author, architect, and draftsman Francis D.K. Ching, with text by recognized engineer and researcher Ian M. Shapiro Ideal for architects, engineers, and builders, as well as students in these fields Sure to be the standard reference on the subject for students, professionals, and anyone interested in sustainable design and construction of buildings, Green Building Illustrated is an informative, practical, and graphically beautiful resource.

Excession

Author: Iain M. Banks
Publisher: Hachette UK
ISBN: 9780748110001
Size: 15.71 MB
Format: PDF
View: 86

Two and a half millennia ago, the artifact appeared in a remote corner of space, beside a trillion-year-old dying sun from a different universe. It was a perfect black-body sphere, and it did nothing. Then it disappeared. Now it is back. 'Banks is a phenomenon ... wildly successful, fearlessly creative' William Gibson 'Thrilling, affecting and comic ... probably the finest science fiction he has written to date' New Scientist 'Banks has rewritten the libretto for the whole space-opera genre' The Times